Who is better - Sponge Bob or Patrick?

I don't usually spend any time writing anything at all - ever about children's cartoons - because that would be imature. Normally I read adult - and by 'adult' I don't mean 'naked'. I mean graphic novels - or as some weird people call them - comic books. They are NOT comic books, they are highly interwoven, thought provoking storylines, but they are drawn instead of written. I mean, there are words, but they are words with pictures. - no, they're not childrens books - they are graphic novels.- Much much much different to comic books. Very mature readers only appreciate the intensity of these books...books full of comics..., well, maybe they are comic books - but they're great! - I mean, who wants to read some book with no pictures? Sure they read them at college - but who needs that? - I never went to college and just look at me - I work in a gas station!

Anyway I was watching some late night tv and sponge bob square pants was on. I feel that the show should really be called Patrick Star - Star Pants - or something. Or maybe Patrick the great Star - patrick the rock star!!!!? - maybe not. See I think that Patrick (the sea star - not star fish as some ingrates call them), is the true star (ha ha - get it...?)of the show. The character of sponge bob is yellow, spongy and idiotic! - It would be like if there was ever some starnge tv show about my life at Corner Gas in Dog River. It would be like as if my idiot friend Hank was the star and I was the side kick! - Yeah, as if that would happen. What would they call it? -The Hank Show - or Hankeriffic - or The Idiot Hour with Hank My Idiot Friend? - Who knows, but Patrick should still be the star (ha ha - I did it again) of the show. They should call it Star Patrick Star Pants - or something. - Hmmm, am I repeating myself? Well, anyway Patrick is pink and he has one big tooth which makes him look fierce.

Okay, it was probably a waste of time writing all this, but what else am I supposed to do in Dog River?

Have fun Patrick Bob fans!

Tired - Dog River Tired

Man I am so tired today. I was going to say dog tired and then I thought - no, I'm more tired than that - I'm Dog River tired. Ha ha - get it? - You see I'm in Dog River and... - well, never mind. Last night I stayed up late because of the stock take. Every year we have to do a stock take of everything at Corner Gas. It's a lot of work. Fortunately I got my shop assistant Wanda to do it all for me. Which is good becuase she can't get a job anywhere else - I think. I got home and thought, it's not really fair though than Wanda is up in the shop staying up all night, doing all the work. So to give her some moral support I stayed up and watced sports all night. Now we're both really tired. I can hardly even focus on the current issue of Fantastic Four. - At least I think it's Fantastic Four - I'm so tired...maybe it's Spiderman - no - no web. Well, it's fantastic anyway - whoever it is. Man I'm tired. I'd better take a nap.

Dog River

Hi everyone out there in internet land - or "Internet People", as my dad calls you all. Better than ATM people in any case. I highly dislike those meany bunches.

Just as an intro, my name is Brent Leroy and I live in the thriving metropolis of Dog River. Dog River is in Saskatchewan. And Saskatchewan is in Canada - which is a large country. - Okay, it's near the United States of America - but is actually above them - so we're better I guess.

I run my own business, which I bought off my dad. Not that I paid any money for it - I believe in not paying things from your own family. I think parents should just give their kids things because of how much they love them etc. Other people's kids - you can charge them for stuff though. - A guy has to make a living after all. I own the local gas station, which is great because its the only place people round here can buy gas - so I can charge what I like. Prices always seem to go up around christmas time for some reason.

Corner Gas is the name of the business. My dad thought of the name - which shows what a creative genius he is. I mean, we sell gas - and also we are actually on a corner. Makes sense really.

Oh, a customer has been waiting here since I started writing this. I'd better stop typing and start looking around for something else which makes me look busy, and then after a while I'll see what they want. - Probably to buy gas or something - lousy gas buyers.