Big Brother

I was going to watch Big Brother last night, and then I thought - no - I like my brain.

- Brent.

Who is better - Sponge Bob or Patrick?

I don't usually spend any time writing anything at all - ever about children's cartoons - because that would be imature. Normally I read adult - and by 'adult' I don't mean 'naked'. I mean graphic novels - or as some weird people call them - comic books. They are NOT comic books, they are highly interwoven, thought provoking storylines, but they are drawn instead of written. I mean, there are words, but they are words with pictures. - no, they're not childrens books - they are graphic novels.- Much much much different to comic books. Very mature readers only appreciate the intensity of these books...books full of comics..., well, maybe they are comic books - but they're great! - I mean, who wants to read some book with no pictures? Sure they read them at college - but who needs that? - I never went to college and just look at me - I work in a gas station!

Anyway I was watching some late night tv and sponge bob square pants was on. I feel that the show should really be called Patrick Star - Star Pants - or something. Or maybe Patrick the great Star - patrick the rock star!!!!? - maybe not. See I think that Patrick (the sea star - not star fish as some ingrates call them), is the true star (ha ha - get it...?)of the show. The character of sponge bob is yellow, spongy and idiotic! - It would be like if there was ever some starnge tv show about my life at Corner Gas in Dog River. It would be like as if my idiot friend Hank was the star and I was the side kick! - Yeah, as if that would happen. What would they call it? -The Hank Show - or Hankeriffic - or The Idiot Hour with Hank My Idiot Friend? - Who knows, but Patrick should still be the star (ha ha - I did it again) of the show. They should call it Star Patrick Star Pants - or something. - Hmmm, am I repeating myself? Well, anyway Patrick is pink and he has one big tooth which makes him look fierce.

Okay, it was probably a waste of time writing all this, but what else am I supposed to do in Dog River?

Have fun Patrick Bob fans!

Another Blog Entry

Just sitting in the shop - well, standing actually. I stand a lot really. Probably why I'm in such great shape. Thought about starting some martial arts training. I was reading a comic from Japan that someone sent me - well, I ordered it myself, from another comic book. It was all in some other crazy language - not Canadian. Chinese probably. Anyway, even though I couldnt understand any of it, I did enjoy looking at the pictures. I like pictures. They make me feel good. There was all this cool martial arts fighting. One guy used a big long stick. So I am really interested in training as a martial arts monkey...err, person - the guy in the comic was a monkey - or at least, I think he was a monkey - he could have just been some hairy human - like my friend Hank. Actaully Hank came over the the Corner Gas shop and hung out for a while also today. We got two broom handles and were playing martial arts monkeys together. We had a great fight - until Hank the monkey got fleas and had to go. - Actually there was a spill, so I have to give the broom handle back to Wanda, my assistant. - About time she did some work.

I was so tired after our pretend fight that I figured I am already a martial arts monkey - I mean, master. So I dont have to study any more martial arts. Which is good, as I wouldn't want to get into any better shape - people may be afraid to look at me - they would have to avert their eyes to avoid the glare.

Oh, another spill...Wanda!

Tired - Dog River Tired

Man I am so tired today. I was going to say dog tired and then I thought - no, I'm more tired than that - I'm Dog River tired. Ha ha - get it? - You see I'm in Dog River and... - well, never mind. Last night I stayed up late because of the stock take. Every year we have to do a stock take of everything at Corner Gas. It's a lot of work. Fortunately I got my shop assistant Wanda to do it all for me. Which is good becuase she can't get a job anywhere else - I think. I got home and thought, it's not really fair though than Wanda is up in the shop staying up all night, doing all the work. So to give her some moral support I stayed up and watced sports all night. Now we're both really tired. I can hardly even focus on the current issue of Fantastic Four. - At least I think it's Fantastic Four - I'm so tired...maybe it's Spiderman - no - no web. Well, it's fantastic anyway - whoever it is. Man I'm tired. I'd better take a nap.

Dog River

Hi everyone out there in internet land - or "Internet People", as my dad calls you all. Better than ATM people in any case. I highly dislike those meany bunches.

Just as an intro, my name is Brent Leroy and I live in the thriving metropolis of Dog River. Dog River is in Saskatchewan. And Saskatchewan is in Canada - which is a large country. - Okay, it's near the United States of America - but is actually above them - so we're better I guess.

I run my own business, which I bought off my dad. Not that I paid any money for it - I believe in not paying things from your own family. I think parents should just give their kids things because of how much they love them etc. Other people's kids - you can charge them for stuff though. - A guy has to make a living after all. I own the local gas station, which is great because its the only place people round here can buy gas - so I can charge what I like. Prices always seem to go up around christmas time for some reason.

Corner Gas is the name of the business. My dad thought of the name - which shows what a creative genius he is. I mean, we sell gas - and also we are actually on a corner. Makes sense really.

Oh, a customer has been waiting here since I started writing this. I'd better stop typing and start looking around for something else which makes me look busy, and then after a while I'll see what they want. - Probably to buy gas or something - lousy gas buyers.